
< All entries by troll







about dominas and slaves
By troll | Posted on 2012-01-13Femdom, short for female domination covers such a vast array of fetishes and interests, sexual and domestic lifestyle that everyone's definition would differ making an exact definition impossible.

Of course everyone has different bdsm femdom fetishes and fantasies but the basic principle being that of superior women and inferior male slaves. Sometimes this is just for play fantasy sessions that you would find a Dominatrix in a dungeon doing and to some a complete 24/7 femdom, lifestyle. Also called TPE total power exchange or APE actual power exchange. A Dominant Mistress or dom tgirl can lead some people into money slavery and financial domination although that seems to be more fantasy than reality, many say they are financial slaves but never follow it through.They like the humiliation of being a pay pig, money slave and naturally some women like to receive their gifts. How about surrender to a BBW Mistress, meaning Big Beautiful Woman, this is quite popular with certain male submissives as is CBT, cock and ball torture CP, corporal punishment, anal play and bondage.

Have a look at the bdsm glossary at the bottom of this page for better explanations. Many dominatrix interests include trampling, walking over the sub either in heels or bare feet. I saw an episode of Desperate housewives where this happened. Foot worship can be wearing shoes or boots or naked feet, massaging or kissing/licking them, sometimes when they are dirty sometimes not.

Serving a Black Femdom is a particular attraction to some a stunning ebony Mistress brings a different kind of power exchange and adds a new element.

A lifestyle dominatrix can also be a professional Mistress or just lives the lifestyle, different again from fetish models who prefer just to dress in shiny clothes, rubber leather PVC etc. A strap on queen for the many strap on lovers who love being anally invaded by their Mistress with a strap on forced to wear a dildo. Boots and high heels the higher and sharper the spiked heel the better. Oriental Goddess or Mistress again different races add a different dimension who subordinate men to their authority. Caning sometimes referred to as English discipline. Exquisite punishments and high class domination with an upper class English accent.

How about hypno femdom, hypnotising the sub by the Mistress is a relatively new specialization. Apparently giving the Dominant more power and control as they control their slave mentally and can bind without any actual physical bonds, handcuffs etc. Some Mistress are more sensual than sadistic and use tie and tease orgasm denial. Dress less in fetish clothing and more in silk, satin blouses, skirts, elegant rather than powerful looking.

The image of a stunning, beautiful Dominatrix dressed in rubber, leather, corsets, thigh high boots etc is a very popular one, a fantasy one. Clothing fetish is very strong and also applicable to the submissive who may like to be feminized, turned into a sissy wearing women's lingerie. Forced feminization were the female dominant forces her male sub into feminine clothing to humiliate and extend her control over her victim. Also adult baby regression not so common but one of many variations.

Slave Rules
Here is a list of slave rules that can be used a starting block. A Mistress and slave will generally adapt it, add or take away from it to make it personal and more relevant to themselves.
Different Levels Of Submission
You will see on many BDSM sites or hear mentioned on the "scene" the terms submissive and slave. So what is the difference or is it just playing with words. When someone says I want to be your slave, sometimes they only want to be tied up and whipped which in the definitive sense is hardly being a slave. Professional Domina's can refer to their clients as slaves when really the term is only being used for erotic stimulation, to create the right atmosphere. At the other end of the spectrum there are people who genuinely desire to be full time 24/7 personal servants, existing solely for their dominants use, pleasure, amusement and convenience, devoting their life to the service of their dominant. As a chattel, the property of their "Owner". Most subs/slaves sit in between the person seeking erotic satisfaction from a professional and the latter completely owned servant. That is where this guide may be useful in maybe pinpointing where you are, wish to be, or wish your sub to be.
NON SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST Not into serving someone else at all, no interest in humiliation or giving up control to someone else. They seek just pain or spiced-up sensuality. They act on the their own terms and for their own direct pleasure. Turned on by their own bodily sensations rather than by being used to gratify a Dominants sadism.
PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE NON SLAVE Not interested in playing as a slave but probably into other submissive role-playing games, maybe dominant school teacher, interrogation, prison officer, infantilism, forced feminization. Would usually like humiliation, but not into serving the dominants desires, not even in play. They like to dictate the scene almost totally, often referred to as topping from the bottom.
PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE They like to play at being a slave, fulfilling a fantasy, they like to feel subservient to the dominant. In some cases to feel like they are being used to gratify the dominants sadism. May actually serve the dominant in some ways but generally on the submissive's terms. Will dictate the scene to a large degree. They are often fetish orientated, liking foot worship, fetish clothing, high heels, boots etc.
TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON SLAVE They give up control but temporarily and always within agreed limits negotiated beforehand. They get their main satisfaction from being submissive other than that of serving or being used. In other words they are usually turned on by suspense, apprehension of the unknown, being left vulnerable, having no responsibility. They do not dictate the scene apart from agreed limits but still obtain their pleasure from what happens to them rather than getting pleasure from pleasing or serving the dominant.
TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE They give up control although again only temporarily during play scenes and within agreed limits but in this case get their satisfaction from serving the dominant. Being used by the dominant but only in erotic or fun situations. They may be a masochist, turned on by pain but indirectly. Suffering as the object of the dominants sadism. The submissive places very few limits or restrictions on the dominant.
SHORT TERM SEMI SLAVE They give up control and want to serve and be used by the dominant. The first level of actually wanting to provide non erotic submission but only when the slave is in the mood, hence the short term classification. The period may even be several days where they act as a full time servant but ultimately they are free to quit whenever they wish or when the agreed period ends. May be in a LTR with the Mistress, but the slave has the final say over when serving.
PART TIME CONSENSUAL REAL SLAVE They have committed to a Mistress/slave relationship and regard themselves as the property of the Mistress without time constraints . They want to obey, serve and please in all aspects of life including everyday practical domestic chores as well as erotic. Devoting most of their time to other commitments, probably has a full time job but nearly all of their free time is controlled by the dominant.
FULL TIME CONSENSUAL REAL SLAVE The slave regards themselves as existing for the pleasure of the dominant to serve and obey without question although there are a few pre agreed limits. The slave expects to be regarded as the dominants property/chattel. Possibly similar to that of the traditional housewife in the 1950s. Apart from in this case the slave's position is fully consensual and they are considered a househusband or slavehusband. They understand how much power is being given up and that it is way past just erotic games. This arrangement is only entered into with care and awareness of the part of the salve and dominant, this is not a traditional marriage by any means.
TOTAL NO LIMIT SLAVE A very popular fantasy which probably doesn't exist in reality. Maybe in religious cults or situations where brainwashing has induced the situation. If somebody considers themselves a total no limits slave and says they would do anything for their dominant then they would probably be dangerous to themselves, others and the dominant also. Treat such claims with scepticism.
1 - i will serve, worship, obey and always please my Mistress.
2 - My primary focus shall be to please my Mistress, She knows what is best for me.
3 - i worship my Mistress body, i worship my Mistress's whip.
4 - My Mistress has complete power over me and she fills me with awe.
5 - i am only entitled to pleasure after earning it with the permission of my Mistress.
6 - i trust my Mistress completely and know that she will look after my physical, mental and spiritual health.
7 - i will ask for permission before acting on any need that might arise.
8 - my body, mind and sexual release are the property of my Mistress.
9 - i will always thank my Mistress after receiving discipline, punishment or pleasure from her.
10 - i do not have the right to disobey or hesitate when responding to any of my Mistress's commands.
11 - i have no will of my own, my will is dictated by my Mistress, she will always enforce her will upon me and i will accept this.
12 - Even when not in the presence of my Mistress i am always submissive to her.
13 - All of my decisions will be based upon whether or not they will please my Mistress. If they do not I will not act upon them.
14 - i will always wear my collar with pride as it signifies My Mistress's ownership of me and my submission to Her.
15 - i will wear chains around my neck, wrists, ankles or waist as it symbolises my bondage to Her
16 - i will be gagged whenever it please my Mistress and not speak without permission
17 - When directed to give body worship i will do it for as long and expertly as required, i will always be eager and thankful.
18 - i worship my Mistress's arse along with every other part of Her body
.19 - i will never look directly into the eyes of my Mistress without permission and will avert my gaze downwards in Her presence.
20 - my head will be bowed when in the presence of my Mistress unless given permission not to.
21 - i will wear whatever clothing or lack off that my Mistress choices when in public and indoors, I have no right to privacy.
22 - Indoors i will normally be naked apart from my collar, chains and maybe chastity device.
23 - i will always keep my body clean and hygienic.
24 - If i need to pick something up or collect something i shall do by going into a kneeling position.
25 - my default natural place is on my knees before my Mistress.
26 - i will always wait patiently to be used by my Mistress.
27 - Pleasing my Mistress is the most important thing in my life and gives me the greatest satisfaction.
28 - Displeasing or upsetting my Mistress is the worst feeling i can experience
29 - My submission is natural to me, the natural order of things, She is superior to me and we both understand this.
30 - Whenever my Mistress speaks i will be quiet and ask for permission to respond or speak freely.
31 - i am the property of my Mistress.
32 - If my Mistress decides to enslave me for life i will accept any markings or brandings she chooses.
33 - i will learn all positions taught by my Mistress and move into them gracefully.
34 - i will never have an orgasm without the permission of my Mistress, disobeying this means punishment without a safe word
35 - A safeword may not be used when being punished as it would make the punishment useless if i can control it.
36 - A safeword can be used in other situations or a means of expressing it if gagged at the time.
37 - i will confess any indiscretion or disallowed behaviour immediately even if it was accidental and expect to be punished.
38 - my Mistress will decide upon my sexual orientation and fantasies, Her fantasies are my fantasies.
39 - Pain and pleasure are part of my life, the carrot and stick to make me completely submissive and obedient to my Mistress.
40 - i will always strive to learn and become a better trained slave over time
41 - i will suffer whatever treatment my Mistress decides upon and increase my limits to become a better slave.
42 - Discipline and punishment will make me a better male slave for My Mistress.
43 - i will never touch myself sexually or erotically without the permission of my Mistress.
44 - i am lost without the control and total domination that my mistress gives to my life.
45 - i am not weak but strong as a weak man could never surrender to the power of a woman.
46 - i will never show disrespect or displeasure before my Mistress
47 - All of my barriers will be broken down, my will be Hers and i will become the property of my Mistress
48 - My Mistress's needs and pleasure are of far greater importance than mine, She is completely superior to me.
49 - i will offer my body to my Mistress for Her pleasure, if i do not please her i wish to be punished.
50 - i will eat well and remain healthy, all food i prepare for my Mistress shall be healthy and of good quality.
51 - i may be my Mistress's toilet and will remain still and accommodating accepting Her gifts to me as a reward.
52 - Upon entering the house i will remove my clothing and put on my collar and chains or uniform of my Mistress's choice.
53 - i will always sleep naked kneeling before the bed as i get in and out.
54 - i will wear the marks inflicted upon my body with pride that i have suffered for the pleasure of my Mistress.
55 - i will readily suffer for the pleasure of my Mistress.
56 - i will wear chastity devices, anal plugs and any other restraint as a sign of my ownership and submission to my Mistress.
57 - i will not talk to any other Mistress without the permission of my Mistress apart from to politely say i cannot speak to you.
58 - i shall eat from a dog bowl on the floor unless given permission to sit at the table.
59 - i must ask permission to use the toilet as my bodily functions are controlled by my Mistress.
60 - i will perform all domestic tasks to a high degree and keep the house spotless and hygienic.
61 - The beginning and ending of each day shall be kneeling saying a prayer pledging obedience and gratitude to my Mistress.
62 - I will sleep or spend time in a cage whenever my Mistress feels it is appropriate, crawl in gracefully and ask to be locked in.
63 - i will keep a journal of my thoughts and present these to my Mistress so she may correct any inappropriate attitudes.
64 - If i am sent to another Mistress to serve i will serve her as if she was my Mistress, to the standards i have been trained to.
65 - i will sign a contract of slavery pledging my submission and obedience to my Mistress, She is my Owner and superior.
Slave positions
The varying slave positions are useful methods for training purposes and establishing the power dynamic, they also
1: Allow the submissive to show their submission and devotion
2: Force them to concentrate on obeying the dominant
3: Gives the slave a feeling of helplessness and a constant reminder of their status
4: Assists in their training and controlling behaviour,
5: Present themselves for punishment
6: To perform an examination of the slave’s body
7: To inspect and have easy access to the slaves body for sexual puropses
8: To simply humiliate the slave
9: To teach a slave patience
10: To temporarily restrain the slave from going anywhere with the mental bonds of the position
No doubt many more can be added . The slave positions are a very useful tool and should never be overlooked. With one word, look or gesture a Mistress orders a slave into a useful or pleasing position. Slavery positions provide great control and the quicker they are learnt the better for establishing a power exchange relationship. The slave can only leave the ordered position with the permission of the Mistress also helping condition the mind to obedience.
Verbal commands for each position are normally short and concise so that there can be no misunderstandings. For example a command of KNEEL can be kneeling but in a certain predefined way whereas KNEEL SPREAD would be kneeling in a different manner. Each must be learned accurately and to the Mistress's wishes. There can also ne areas in the house that when a command is given the slave must go to and wait until released, staying there quietly in a certain position.
There are of course positions that are used for punishment. Positions that if you hold them for a period of time become painful, simple and effective discipline. Sexual positions are taught to allow the slave worship the body of their Mistress. For further play and humiliation rules only allow the slave crawl, not allowed to walk on two feet. Animal play moving like a dog or worm, the slave crawling on their belly or hands and knees. Positions can be used to show off an obedient slave in public.
Acceptable responses from a slave after being ordered into a position are normally simply "yes Mistress", they should move quickly and gracefully to the assumed position.
Attend: A slave is ordered to attend to the needs of the Mistress, normally non-sexual
Attention: The slave stands, feet and ankles together arms are at their sides. The slaves back is straight and eyes are focused forward but not staring directly at the Dominant
Assume Spot: A position normally to the left and slightly behind a dominant, the slave would be in a more comfortable relaxed position which can be maintained for extended periods of time if necessary.
Auction: This is used to display the slave at an auction or to show off the slave. The slave faces the viewers legs spread and arms at a 45 degree angle from their body, palms facing the viewers. Then on a command the slave turns away and assumes the same position but now showing their rear.
Bring,Get,Fetch: Used to instruct a slave to get an object for their Mistress as you would instruct a dog to do similar. A sub command can be used only allowing the slave to use their mouth to retrieve the object.
Come,Present: This normally would be a face down position, standing with arms at the side and legs together. Can also be arms stretched out above head, wrists and ankles crossed to represent being bound.
Crawl: Not as self explanatory as it appears as it can be a belly crawl or on knees and palms crawling.
Dismissal: To be dismissed from the presence of the Mistress for discipline or punishment. The slave will back away from the Mistress with eyes lowered, crawling backwards.
Display: A predetermined body position that displays the submissive and makes them vulnerable, the slave stays in this position until released. Also can be called inspection. Kneeling with thighs apart, the slave should interlock their fingers behind their head, chin up, eyes lowered, butt should be sitting on their heels, straight back, chest and genitals out presented in a display for viewing. Can also be modified to display mouth or anus for insertion or giving of "gifts"
Down: This is to order a slave to move from a standing or kneeling position into a full face down lying on the floor position.
Down on Back: The slave assumes a position on their back with legs together and arms tight at their side.
Examination: Similar to a display position but is usually more than one position displaying a part of their body then on command moving to display a different part of their body.
Exit: For leaving the presence of the Mistress, the slave should never turn their back on the dominant. The turning of the back is considered an act of disrespect and punishable.
Follow: To follow the Mistress at her exact pace 3-4 steps to the rear and to the left
Front or back cuff: The slave moves hands to their front or back to enable cuffing. However the cuffing can be mental and not a physical pair of cuffs.
Go to your Place: The slave goes to a location in the house and stays their until their Mistress has a need for them. Can also be augmented by having to kneel at the location.
Heel: The slave will follow slightly behind and to the right of the Mistress as opposed to the left in follow. Often used if the Mistress wishes to engage in conversation with the slave whilst walking.
Humble: Standing upright face down with legs parted to width of shoulders, arms out to sides to form a human cross. Can also be used whilst lying down
Informal: The slave stands with their feet at the same width apart as their shoulders, head up, eyes down, posture perfect but not rigid stiff.
Kneeling Present: Kneeling with thighs apart, back should be straight, chin up eyes down, palms up and resting on the front of thighs, butt on heels.
Obedience: The slave kneels and places their hands behind their back crossed at wrists. They will bend forward until their face is against the floor, uncomfortable for extended periods.
Stool: The slave gets down on their hands and knees with head down in front of the Mistress. Back held strong and rigid to act as a foot stool or table.
Surrender: Face down lying on the floor ankles crossed, arms above head with wrists crossed again to allow easy cuffing or mental cuffing.
Whip: A position either standing or kneeling. If standing then the slave should be exposing the back and buttocks for whipping. If kneeling the slave should present their back and buttocks while protecting their hands and neck by keeping those areas down.
Worship: Not a specific position rather it directs the slave into a position enabling worship of a specific body part of the Mistress.
BDSM Glossary
24/7: A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously.
Animal transformation fantasy: Fantasy in which the focus is on the sub entering the altered mind space of a different species, typically a dog, pony or horse.
Abrasion: Using something rough (such as sandpaper).
Ageplay: Usually referring to daddy/daughter or mommy/baby role play. Does not usually include or imply aspects of incest, but rather the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student.
Anal torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus.
Animal Play: The sub acts or dresses like an animal (puppy, pony, cow, etc.).
Auctioned off: Dominant auctions off the slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use).
BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism
Black Femdom: Same as Ebony femdom adding a racial element where the submissive is normally of a different race to the dominant.
Bondage: Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Bondage typically refers to total restraint, however it can be limited to a particular body part, such as breast bondage.
Bottom: submissive or one who gives up control, or simply one who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene.
Breath Control: The dominant controls the submissive's breathing.
Butt plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently. The flared base allows for safe anal penetration. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate.
Chastity: A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner, usually by means of a device that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner.
CBT: Cock and ball torture
Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple persons collared.
Collaring: The formal acceptance by a dominant, of a sub's service, or the "ownership" of a pup by a Mistress. Also the ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub
Consent: Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing bdsm relationship.
Consensual non-consensuality: A mutual agreement that within defined limits, or subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and common sense. As such, it is a show of trust and understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear safe limits on their activities.
Contract: A written-out agreement between the dominant & submissive. It can be either formal or non, and is usually written after much negotiation by the dominant and the sub, outlining what structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries to the relationship are agreed upon by the two . However it is not legally binding.
DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who volunteers to supervise the interactions between participants at a play party to ensure their safety.
Domme: Woman who exercises control
D/s: Dominance/submission
Dungeon: Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space
Edgeplay: SM play which pushes the limits of the persons involved. This can be potentially dangerous activities such as fire, electricity, cutting, or breath play, but often isn't dangerous with the proper skills and experience.
Endorphin rush: Endorphins are the chemicals responsible for the "high" people often get from activities such as sex, or high-risk sports. BDSM activities, especially those incorporating a degree of sensation play often cultivate the endorphin rush as part of their "payoff" to the sub.
Erotic sexual denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity.
Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience.
Fire play: Using flammable liquids to create quick, fleeting instances of flame on the skin of the bottom. Risk of injury is increased and the top should be learned with fire play skills.
Genitorture: Torture of the genitals
Golden showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person.
Gorean: A sub-genre based upon the rituals and practices created within the world of Gor in the erotic novels by John Norman.
Gunplay: The practice of including actual (or simulated) firearms into a scene.
Hard limits: What someone absolutely will not do, usually non-negotiable.
Harem: A group of subs serving one or more dominants. Also referred to as stable
Impact play: Part of sensation play, dealing with impact such as whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc.
Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing.
Knife play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.
Limits: What someone "won't" do or is hesitant to do
Masochism: Act of receiving pain for sensual/sexual pleasure.
Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, usually sexually.
Mistress/slave: A consensual relationship in which one person receives control (the Mistress) when given it by another (the slave) for mutual benefit. An extreme form of D/s which usually involves a 24/7 relationship rather than a short period of time (scene or perhaps a week end.)
Mummification: Immobilising the body by wrapping it up, usually with multiple layers of tight thin plastic sheeting. Breathing and other safety measures must be appropriately taken care of, often by leaving the face (or at least the mouth and nose) open.
Munch: A group of people that are into BDSM meeting at a "vanilla" place. Sometimes this is a club.
Needle play: Temporary piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.
Newbie: Someone new to BDSM.
OTK: Over the knee (spanking).
Painslut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain but may or may not necessarily enjoy submitting.
Play party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in scenes.
ProDomme: Female professional dominant (charges money) look at the Domina Guide or paysite review pages
Ponygirl or Ponyboy: Sub is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
Pup-play: Sub is made to act like a puppy. Sub barks, whines, eats from a bowl, etc. Such play is sexual, but also focuses on the altered mind-space of bottom/pup and the complete dominance of his/her Trainer/Master.
RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink
Rape fantasy, ravishment: The pleasurable fantasy of inflicting or being a victim to an act of consensual play-rape.
Sadism: The act of inflicting pain.
Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually.
SSC - Safe, Sane and Consensual
Safeword - When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM activity stops.
Scat play: Faeces play
Scene: A time period of BDSM activities. Also used to refer to the BDSM community ("the Scene").
Sensation play: BDSM play where the intent is to push people's sensory limits, thus exploring texture, sensory deprival, through to whips and edgeplay.
Session: A time period of BDSM activities with a ProDomme.
Service-oriented submission: A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment
Slave: A person (usually submissive) who consensually gives up total control of one or more aspects of their life to another person (their Mistress)
Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, or preferably it may be negotiated at a trial or beginner level into a scene.
Subdrop: A physical condition, often with cold- or flu-like symptoms, experienced by a submissive after an intense session of BDSM play. This can last for as long as a week, and is best prevented by aftercare immediately after the session.
submissive, or "sub" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or for a specified period (Not to be confused with "bottom.")
Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub (or bottom) gets during a scene or when being controlled. The sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that a Dom(me)/top take responsibility for the sub/bottom and be aware of their sub's wellbeing.
Switch: Someone who likes being both top and bottom, either in one scene or on different occasions.
Tease and denial: Keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (see also orgasm denial).
Tit torture: The act of causing deliberate physical pain to the breasts and nipples.
Top: Person "doing the action" (contrast with bottom - person receiving the action.)
Topping from the bottom: A bottom who porports to be a submissive but who nonetheless wants to direct the top.
Training: Either referring to a short period of time (a scene) or an ongoing effort of the dominant teaching the submissive how to act.
Vanilla: Someone who is not in the lifestyle. Alternatively, sexual behaviour which does not encompass BDSM activity. The term is sometimes used in a derogatory sense.
Wannabe: Someone who thinks or claims to be knowledgeable about BDSM, but is not. Especially prevalent with new dominants.
Wax play: The top drips hot wax on the bottom.
Well done for reading this, take a break at the femdom pics page

there you go.
A full glossary of abbreviations would be useful.